it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
