we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize