Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
