her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
