these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
