rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
