i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
