real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize