Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
