And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
