you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
