Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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