just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize