he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I wish there were birth control emojis
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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