so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
