my mouth tastes like poor choices
that's an acceptable place to lick
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We left an ass print on the piano.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
