I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
