my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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