I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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