I feel great
I just peed on a car
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
