before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
