I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
