If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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