After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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