Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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