everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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