I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
