After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
