There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize