Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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