Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
