Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
