I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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