all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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