do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
