I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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