So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i came on her dog
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Randomize
