Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
