mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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