I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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