so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
