If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
