i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
