She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
