I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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