if i can run in heels then i can drive
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize