omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
