She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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