i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
