I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
