I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
