arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
