She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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