I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Who wears a wallet chain?!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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