from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
