It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
