ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
