This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
