hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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