PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
