God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
