Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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