you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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