She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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