is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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