Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
